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Season 1 Edit

  • Mel: So I was making the first big decision of my life. My parents didn’t approve, so… I guess you could call me a rebel! Sort of. I set off on my own and for the first time, I actually did something entirely for myself. And good thing, too, ‘cause now I'm an actor.
  • Nicole: Interns! That way!
  • Mel: Well, almost an actor. ("Pilot")

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  • Mel: If you were trying to be fashionably late, that was five minutes ago. ("Pilot")

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  • Mel: I heard that on average, five billionaires drown in their money each year. ("Pilot")

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  • Mel: Oh mine! Becca! Mine! That is my man!!
  • Nick: Wait, him?
  • Mel: No, not Becca's massage therapist.
  • Nick: Wait, so this is your boyfriend? Oh sorry, your man?!
  • Mel: Okay, he is not my boyfriend!
  • Nick: (scoffing) Okay!
  • Mel: I'm serious, Nick.
  • Nick: Okay.
  • Mel: We're nothing!
  • Nick: Then why did you call him your man?
  • Mel: I meant my invite. I invited him. ("Housewarming")

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  • Mel: I'm sorry about all this. My friends are...
  • Simon: Funny-
  • Mel: -crazy.
  • Simon: No, really. I'm glad I came.
  • Mel: Really?
  • Simon: Really. Maybe some other time, it could just be me and you. ("Housewarming")

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  • Nicole: Now for Buckingham palace… oh, you’re with Simon. (pause) Did you hear what I said?
  • Mel: Um. Yes. Yes I did.
  • Nicole: Do you have a problem with tha-
  • Mel: No! No!!! (pause) But like, I’m not over-eager or anything… ("Dine And Dash")

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  • Mateo: So how long have you two been… lovers?
  • Simon: Um...
  • Mel: Well...
  • Simon: Dessert?
  • Mel: That'd be nice! (then to Mateo) What the hell!?
  • Becca: Heck-
  • Mel: What the hecking hell??
  • Becca: That's... worse.
  • Mateo: So! Are you sleeping over, or...? ("Dine And Dash")

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  • Mel: My best friend and your best friend had a fun little fling. My best friend, like your best friend, has a great deal of experience in the area of one night stands. So! When my best friend and your best friend had what my best friend believed to be one of those, my best friend didn’t find it necessary to consult with your best friend about whether or not she could see someone other than your best friend! ("Wedding Bell Blues")

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